tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post7721348042627817429..comments2023-04-03T06:16:16.077-07:00Comments on Expressions of Talking Leaves: Write On Edge & Story Dam Combined ChallengesShelton Keys Dunninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-9541830958043501062012-04-25T11:13:43.640-07:002012-04-25T11:13:43.640-07:00Thanks!I'm thrilled to know that this worked f...Thanks!I'm thrilled to know that this worked for you and you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-20327329107172922382012-04-25T11:11:32.150-07:002012-04-25T11:11:32.150-07:00Thank you for your feedback. I agree with the both...Thank you for your feedback. I agree with the both of you, I could have made the transition smoother. I appreciate your feedback and absolutely will love to see you come back! You are welcome anytime!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-21242984513730226712012-04-25T08:50:33.977-07:002012-04-25T08:50:33.977-07:00Lovely writing. I agree with Angela. I felt thes...Lovely writing. I agree with Angela. I felt these were two separate pieces that could easily stand on their own. After "...walked away as the little cinder girl" I was almost a little jarred to find there was more. It's such a powerful closing sentence, almost too powerful when there is more coming. But I loved the piece and I'll come back to read more of your work.injaynesworldhttp://injaynesworld.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-71875053319546252152012-04-25T07:16:03.145-07:002012-04-25T07:16:03.145-07:00Hi, just read your write... it is amazing how you ...Hi, just read your write... it is amazing how you have written this piece. Simply breathtaking. Bravo!Rathihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10575572965786947205noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-31475015425474912082012-04-22T20:24:44.716-07:002012-04-22T20:24:44.716-07:00Thanks! I'm thrilled to know what worked for y...Thanks! I'm thrilled to know what worked for you. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-84790617202392270442012-04-22T18:26:09.103-07:002012-04-22T18:26:09.103-07:00So, I have two favorite lines. The first? "Nu...So, I have two favorite lines. The first? "Numb, Tracy looked in the mirror and Truth looked back."<br /><br />The second? “Don’t worry about anything. Tomorrow we’ll take your dress to the shooting range and use it for target practice.”<br /><br />Obviously, this poor girl just had her world ripped to shreds. But by injecting humor into this piece, there is hope that a happy ending could still occur.<br /><br />Great job!Denisehttp://racingwarrior.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-70596515486794132152012-04-22T11:08:27.118-07:002012-04-22T11:08:27.118-07:00Thanks for stopping by! I hope you enjoyed your vi...Thanks for stopping by! I hope you enjoyed your visit. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-27602203165392641142012-04-22T02:39:45.747-07:002012-04-22T02:39:45.747-07:00Poor girl. I feel sorry for her. Good thing she ha...Poor girl. I feel sorry for her. Good thing she had a knight in her brother to back her up.Waterfallhttp://waterfallblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-82015437045612221362012-04-21T20:13:14.354-07:002012-04-21T20:13:14.354-07:00Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed your visit. Than...Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed your visit. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-23913713352403722512012-04-21T19:12:39.672-07:002012-04-21T19:12:39.672-07:00Your images are awesome. I love the face washing s...Your images are awesome. I love the face washing scene. And then the support of her brother.<br /><br />Target practice! PerfectReneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00955772837133239769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-26275210383281280372012-04-21T19:02:24.797-07:002012-04-21T19:02:24.797-07:00Thanks! I'm thrilled you enjoyed the read. Tha...Thanks! I'm thrilled you enjoyed the read. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-85939991396403839842012-04-21T14:59:58.712-07:002012-04-21T14:59:58.712-07:00Definitely a fairytale ended, it makes me ask for ...Definitely a fairytale ended, it makes me ask for more and to wonder and yet it built so softly and was so beautifully understated. :)idiosyncratic eyehttp://idiosyncraticeye.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-31854580266313025052012-04-21T12:51:24.581-07:002012-04-21T12:51:24.581-07:00Thanks stopping by! I'm glad you enjoyed the r...Thanks stopping by! I'm glad you enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and letting me know what worked!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-79198941976620713022012-04-21T12:48:13.645-07:002012-04-21T12:48:13.645-07:00Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. ...Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. It means the world to me!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-3629078646627351992012-04-21T12:46:00.832-07:002012-04-21T12:46:00.832-07:00Thanks! The siblings were fun to write. As always ...Thanks! The siblings were fun to write. As always thanks for stopping by and leaving fedback. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-23528543101959646052012-04-21T12:16:05.351-07:002012-04-21T12:16:05.351-07:00Thank you so much! I'm thrilled to know that t...Thank you so much! I'm thrilled to know that this worked. We may yet see more of Tracy and her brother Josh, since I don't think their story is done yet.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-28532410109880692602012-04-21T10:04:15.111-07:002012-04-21T10:04:15.111-07:00You pulled me into the story, and the twist was pr...You pulled me into the story, and the twist was professional. Well done!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03593523034769971203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-26693498406310722502012-04-21T09:49:28.062-07:002012-04-21T09:49:28.062-07:00I really enjoyed the comparison to Cinderella and ...I really enjoyed the comparison to Cinderella and the detailed face-washing routine, both drew me into yur story. I also liked how you were able to successfully combine prompts. Interesting twist on a fairy tale.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10008176772672696147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-52712899980747803242012-04-21T05:50:29.233-07:002012-04-21T05:50:29.233-07:00The sting of astringent stripping away illusion is...The sting of astringent stripping away illusion is a powerful image. The twist is cruel - and a fantastic example of upping the stakes. Like the others, I really love the snapshot of her relationship with her brother.Cameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05407917830307384493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-11567198742075887162012-04-21T05:15:45.303-07:002012-04-21T05:15:45.303-07:00This is just excellent. The description of the ch...This is just excellent. The description of the character washing her face ("Foamy lathers stained with mascara and rouge disappeared down the hole of the wash basin. The mask was off") was so vivid. I also loved the authenticity of the dialogue between brother and sister, as well as the idea of using the wedding dress for target practice. Looking forward to reading more of this story! So well-done. Cheers, AnneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-73360241057804242232012-04-20T21:47:21.624-07:002012-04-20T21:47:21.624-07:00Thanks for letting me know what worked for you. I ...Thanks for letting me know what worked for you. I love feedback and I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-52213853950226402252012-04-20T21:20:09.907-07:002012-04-20T21:20:09.907-07:00I really liked this! The placement of the reveal t...I really liked this! The placement of the reveal that it was her wedding dress worked for me, but I do like the idea above about having her interact with it a bit more.Suzanne Earleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18385498304922239050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-84842340093031069562012-04-20T18:45:47.177-07:002012-04-20T18:45:47.177-07:00Yea new friends!
Great suggestion for the ribbon....Yea new friends!<br /><br />Great suggestion for the ribbon. That would make a lovely image.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by and giving feedback!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-46912254173792291762012-04-20T18:39:22.154-07:002012-04-20T18:39:22.154-07:00Thanks!
Great suggestion about the ring finger. I...Thanks!<br /><br />Great suggestion about the ring finger. I hadn't thought of that.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8156955729401188147.post-11146117450551290812012-04-20T18:29:01.329-07:002012-04-20T18:29:01.329-07:00Nice to meet you!
I loved this line: "she l...Nice to meet you!<br /><br />I loved this line: "she left the midnight princess at the sink and walked away as the little cinder girl."<br /><br />The shock that it was her wedding night worked for me, but I think the moment that was revealed almost gets lost in the surrounding text. A little more interaction with the dress might solve that. Perhaps she touches the ribbon once more before sliding it to the far back with a sense of finality.<br /><br />The relationship with the brother felt real to me, good job conveying that dynamic. I look forward to finding out what happened to end her fairy tale!rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04943703255484315415noreply@blogger.com