Thursday, July 12, 2012

Write On Edge: Forbidden Challenge

Red Writing Hood this week gives us 450 words to explore something forbidden or taboo.

I've had a pretty brutal week so I wanted something lighthearted. We met Nikki (Tracy's cousin) on the beach during the sand challenge.


I offer the following in response: Cookie Hunt


Nikki scoped out the kitchen. She knew it by heart, of course, but her mother like to change the hiding places. She tiptoed in, her heart lurching at every sound, from the gulls crying outside the beach-house to the staccato snoring of Uncle Pete from the living room. The microwave display advertised the time in neon green, a time the adults would wake and shuffle to the kitchen for the acrid coffee they all consumed by the bucket-loads. As if by magic, the coffee maker beeped itself on, and that putrid smell permeated the room in seconds. If she was to succeed, she would have to act fast.

“If I were a cookie,” she mused, concentrating on the pantry first and then the bread box. Coming up empty after the pots-and-pans-drawer proved fruitless, she turned her attention to the freezer. She shivered from the escaping air as she wrenched the door open, disappointed with the selection of frozen peas and carrots.

“What are you looking for?” Joshua startled her. He stood casually in the doorway, blocking any chance of a clean getaway.

Would a cousin rat me out? she wondered. Silence iced over the conversation as if it was leaking in the open freezer.

“I hope you’re not looking to spoil your breakfast,” a smile tugged at his mouth as he shuffled to the coffee maker. “I recall there’s some oatmeal in the bottom cabinet, there.”

Nikki moved to the indicated cabinet door, confused, but unwilling to relinquish her reason for being in the kitchen.  Opening the door, she discovered Inside, as bright as a golden church idol, the family's teddy-bear-shaped cookie jar. “Josh!” she exclaimed, turning in her excitement. “I’m forbidden to have cookies before lunch you know.”

He poured coffee into a waiting mug, a grin covering half his face. “Strange, I could swear you had oatmeal. Could be the fact I haven’t had my coffee yet.”

She put the jar back after smuggling a few chocolate chips into her robe pocket. She would have to think of something nice to do for her cousin, but for the moment, all she could accomplish was an evil giggle.

36 comments:

  1. Mmm! Yum. Sneaking chocolate chip biscuits... makes for fun reading. :) I loved it how you described coffee (I'm guessing Nikki isn't very old). In a child's eyes, that's so right! Plus I was drinking coffee while I read it -- and it made me laugh! Loved the piece. Though it just whets your appetite for more...

    stopping over from the RED link-up!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! And you made me smile. I love it when I see biscuit for cookie, crisps for chips, and chips for fries. It reminds me of the lovely places I have visited and the beautiful people I have met.

      I'm thrilled I made you laugh. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  2. A totally different type of fiction from what we usually get from you! a light read that brings smile to the reader's face!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! I'm happy you enjoyed your visit. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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  3. This is wonderful. :) It's so innocent and sneaky at the same time. Love it!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by. I'm thrilled you liked it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! I hope you've enjoyed your stay!

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  5. How well you wrote this POV! I love her wicked giggle and the helpful cousin.
    But the scent of the coffee? Perfect for her! (And reminds me to refill my cup!).
    Thoroughly enjoyable take!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! I'm glad I navigated her POV successfully. Even as a child, I loved the smell of coffee. I thought if Nikki found it revolting though, it would give her a very unique characteristic. I should have added "She wrinkled her nose and pressed on..." or something. Oh well, next time.

      I'm glad you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  6. I love this! Her cousin is definitely the best-est. ;)

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    1. Thanks for the love! It always helps to have a partner in crime, even if he's trying to establish plausible deniability. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  7. How adorable! A happy memory of forbidden cookies, and a complicit cousin, to treasure. Great job with this prompt!

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    1. Thanks! I think stolen, forbidden cookies taste the best. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  8. This is sweet and a bit unexpected, just like a cookie before breakfast.

    I think it's interesting that you chose to have her think the coffee smelled badly. I always remember it smelling so delicious as a child; I was shocked the first time I tasted it. (Of course, I definitely acquired a taste for it...)

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    1. Thanks! I'm sure Nikki will grow to appreciate the wonderful goodness that is coffee. I think it's an odd duck if one doesn't develop a taste for it. So unnatural.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  9. My kids used to think coffee smelled like that. Now they drink it! Wasn't sure what the outcome would be but I love her cousin! What a perfect surprise for us. I had two cookies for breakfast today, one oatmeal choc. chip and one peanut butter so I get this young one perfectly!

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    1. I have oatmeal cookies for breakfast often. I figure the same stuff goes into a bowl of oatmeal as it does the cookie, why not?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! I'm glad you enjoyed your stay!

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  10. I agree the coffee description was genius. This was a lovely light-hearted romp. How delicious and precious those moments are, the kinds of moments that get retold at family reunions in years to come.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. Every character should have a moment like this. Hell, every person in real life should have a moment like this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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  11. I love how you write from the child's viewpoint. And every kid needs a cousin Josh!

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    1. I agree wholeheartedly. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  12. This is a sweet little story and FYI, I never acquired a taste for coffee. I hated it the first time I tried it and saw no reason to force myself to drink it LOL! I do know I am unusual and unique! :-)

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    1. There's nothing wrong with unique and special! My dad has a deep distaste for coffee too. Which is more than fine cuz I drink his share and then some. :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  13. I needed something light-hearted and this was perfect. I like that Josh knew what she was looking for and helped her out. Reminds me of my own cousins. Now I'm off to make coffee, even if it is 10 PM.

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    1. I drink coffee by the bucket load no matter the time. It never affects me and I can go right to sleep without issue. If it helps, it's only 6:30pm here, you can pretend you're on California Time. :)

      I'm thrilled you liked the story. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! I'll have a cup of coffee with you.

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  14. The best of illgotten gains, when family helps out :) nice scene.

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    1. Like fries, cookies always taste better when they're stolen - er - I mean liberated. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  15. I loved this! It was like "Mission Impossible: Early Years". From her cookie hunt, to her evil giggle...definite adorableness going on

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    1. Thanks! I'll take the Mission Impossible, Early Years association. Awesome! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  16. I loved this! The detail and POV are excellent! The only question I have is this phrase -"Coming up empty after the pots-and-pans-drawer proved fruitless" - it almost seems repetative to me but I can't decide for sure. Just something to think about, maybe. Great read.

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    1. I agree. Totally repetitious. I can drop the "coming up empty" and it still conveys the message. Thanks for keeping me honest! This is why two pairs of eyes are always better than just one. :) Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  17. That was too cute! Love it. Reminded me of my sneaking escapades when I was little for forbidden foods.

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    1. I'm so glad you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  18. This could have been my daughter, couldn't help but smile.

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    1. I'm thrilled I brought a smile! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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