Thursday, August 23, 2012

Write On Edge: Collision Challenge


Red Writing Hood gives us 400 words this week for a collision.

The general population views a collision as a type of accident: cars colliding in an intersection, airplanes colliding in mid-air, students colliding in a hallway, a toddler’s backside colliding with the living room floor. Thunder is nothing more than parts of air colliding after a lightning strike creates a vacuum. The scientific definition of collision is an isolated event where two or more moving objects/bodies/things exert forces on each other for a short time. There's a series of complicated looking math problems to illustrate this, involving mass and velocity. I however, am not a mathematician. Instead, imagine a cat silently slinking across the grass. Each step is classified as a collision, paw vs. blades of grass.

So a collision could be silent or even invisible. 

From a literary standpoint, the collision possibilities are endless. A collision of cultures, for example, could provide excellent opportunity for tension and conflict.

Or if the forces in that isolated event embodied the heart of good and evil...of angels and demons...


I offer the following in response: Gillian's Dilemma 



Gillian cowered on the tiny balcony while her parents hurled vile names at each other in the hotel room. Escape was not an option this time. They were miles away from the familiarity of her hometown and six floors up. Trapped, she sobbed until she was void of tears and then stared at the night-sky seeking answers among the stars.

“Never you mind your parents, Dearie,” a woman sporting a white, fuzzy bathrobe leaned over the railing of the adjacent balcony.

How long had she been standing there? Gillian felt light-headed and only nodded. She didn’t have the heart to tell her to get lost.

A young man with bright, red hair and a warm smile appeared on the other balcony. “Angela, you’re sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong,” he said, pointing at the bathrobed woman with a fat cigar. “I must apologize for her behavior, Gillian.”

Gillian glanced at him sharply, “Do I know you?”

His smile didn’t wane.

Angela cackled a laugh, “Now who’s interfering Samiel? Dearie, he heard your name as I did from your parents’ caterwauling. The walls in this place aren’t exactly soundproof.”

Gillian did her best to ignore them all, cinching her arms tightly about her waist. Eventually, she realized they hadn’t moved, but she no longer cared. Inside, the arguing reached a fevered pitch.

“Now, Dearie, things sound like they’re getting bad. Why don’t you climb over, and I’ll fix you a cup of chamomile tea.” Angela offered in an ethereal voice.

“Tea? Angela really, bribing a girl with tea while her life is crumbling about her. She needs to blow off steam. I’ll take you to the penthouse club, buy you a drink.”

“I’m only fourteen,” she announced curtly.

He shrugged, still smiling. “It’s only a drink. The bartender won’t even question your age. Trust me.”

Gillian peered through the sliding glass window at her feuding parents. She was weary of the fight and desperately wanted to be someplace peaceful. She turned from Samiel, “Thank you, Angela. Tea sounds nice.”

Angela helped her over the railing, “I trust you’ll leave her alone now, Samiel?”

Samiel lost his smile. “Well played. Give my regards to the Man Upstairs.”

Gillian was about to ask what he meant when she noticed a soft halo of golden light around Angela. For a split second, heaven kissed the earth and Gillian knew Peace.  

22 comments:

  1. I hope I got it right. And if I did, then the concept of the angel and devil trying to seek her soul was brilliant.And you even chose the names perfectly.A pleasure read as always.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Yup, Old Scratch himself was trying to charm the girl into a very rash decision. I'm thrilled you enjoyed your stay. As always, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete
  2. Very interesting. "For a split second Gillian knew Peace", did she commit suicide or am I totally off?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Suicide was not the Peace I was intending. If I revisit the piece later I'll have to clarify that better. Thanks for pointing that out. I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete
  3. Lovely. I enjoyed this play of good vs evil, angel vs devil.

    I wasn't thinking she committed suicide but now Kenya has me wondering...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Nope no suicide. Just a moment of peace away from the fighting and the frustration. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete
  4. When the girls were young we told them daily to listen to the angels and not the devils. I am glad she chose peace and quiet. Funny I did not think death.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Samiel spoke to her anger, her dark emotions. Angela offered solace. It's the little victories that go unnoticed, but hold the greatest importance I think. I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete
  5. Samiel...my old nemesis. Always getting me into trouble, that one! I like the juxtaposition of the two as neighbors to the girl. Made her situation more momentous and full of mystery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Samiel is often knocking at my door too, and I always regret opening the door...Sinner as I am. :)
      I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete
  6. I'm glad she went with Angela, but I do have a weakness for Samiel, especially today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! To meet the word limit I had to cut the part about his dog. He had a huge bloodhound named Old Scratch with hot and sticky breath. It growled when she went for the "other side". That darling was hard to cut. But I hear ya. Samiel always seems to have the best candy...

      I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete
  7. Oh I just love love LOVE this post! My heart did a happy flip when I read the last paragraph.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Yea! Happy flip! I'm thrilled you loved it. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete
  8. Very clever! Fabulous ending twist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete
  9. Such a fun and engaging piece. Love how you played with the "angel on my shoulder" idea. So glad Gillian made the right choice ... whew! Visiting from Write on Edge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the love! I'm thrilled you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete
  10. Good call Gillian! She has many years ahead of her to succumb to the temptations of Samiel's sort. I like this take on the idea of collision; don't we all make these sorts of decisions all the time, with or without the battle for our soul playing out on an adjacent balcony?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I know I struggle everyday with these sorts of temptations...but really, chocolate can't be that evil... :)
      I hope you've enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete
  11. Oh, that is awesome! I didn't see it coming, though I should have, because the name Samiel stuck out at me. Very creative take on the prompt!

    My only concrit is that I had Gillian pegged quite a bit younger. Something about her posture and internal monologue in the initial paragraphs made me picture a 5-8 year old.

    Sorry I'm late to the discussion! It was quite a weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! And you're not late. I am always happy to see you so you can never be late here. I hope your weekend was of the fun variety and if it wasn't, the not-fun has run its course. :)

      Hmm, a five year old...I'll have to work on voice development then for teens. (I try to forget those years so I don't have much in common with teens anymore) Thanks for the heads up!

      I'm glad you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

      Delete