Thursday, August 30, 2012

Write On Edge: Face to Face Challenge

Red Writing Hood this week is all about a face-to-face meeting, for better or worse, that doesn't go as planned. The word limit of 450 provides an excellent space to craft a really solid scene.

I've cheated somewhat. Mostly, I'm guilty of not completely reading the prompt before I sat down to write the scene. And I'm too excited about my characters to create something else. My eyes stopped reading beyond the word "meeting". Somehow I translated "doesn't go as planned" as "isn't what was expected" which is a completely different situation altogether.

Oops.

Oh well, I'm an adult and I can take responsibility for an epic fail, especially when there's Wild Raspberry Chocolate Chunk ice cream in the freezer. YUM! It's good as a reward for achieving something phenomenal, or even better, as a consolation for an unexpected pitfall.



So, I offer the following in response:  A New Career




Essie Dorely waltzed into Reaper & Associates quite pleased at her newly developed ability to locate places. She was only recently dead, but her bad sense of direction, along with arthritis pain and wrinkles, no longer existed, making her acceptance of death easy.

The office housed the furnishings she anticipated. A set of filing cabinets flanked a wooden desk while a tall potted tree stood sentry to a couch and floor lamp in the opposite corner. Unlike earthly office floors, however, the crystalline floor afforded a breath-taking view of the shifting cloudscape below.  

Reaper introduced himself upon her arrival. Nothing like the ominous, black-hooded, sickle-wielding wraith she expected, he was easily the finest specimen of a young man she had ever seen, sporting a dapper three-piece suit in pristine white and extremely inappropriate flip-flops. “Thank you for applying,” he motioned for her to take a seat, “Peter recommended you with great praise.”

She imagined the absent flak-flak sound of his footwear as he walked to his chair. Some sounds apparently didn’t manifest in the Afterlife. “Well, since death disqualified me from participating in the national BRA awards this year, I find my schedule is completely open.”

Confusion tinted his smile, “BRA awards?”

“Beautiful Roses Association,” she explained. “My Martha Washingtons were sure to capture the grand prize. But I suppose I can’t complain. My death experience could have been…well, considerably warmer.”

“Why not apply for Garden duty here, if roses carry your interest?”

She sighed. How could she possibly explain the awe and inferiority she felt when the great pearl-inlay gates opened to the most beautiful garden she’d ever seen? No, it was time for a new hobby. “Well, dead is done and I see no need to dwell on roses if I can be of use elsewhere. So when Peter suggested reaping, I thought, why not?”

“Well, I’m happy you’re here. Have you any questions before I give you the grand tour? I will answer what I can, although some things I’m not permitted to discuss with apprentices.”

“We don’t kill people, do we?” she blurted, wondering where the question came from.

“No, Essie, we reap souls.” The twinkle in his eyes vanished. “People kill people.”

“That’s a relief,” she breathed. “Not that I couldn’t do it if I had to kill someone. I mean, I never had to, obviously or I suppose I wouldn’t be here but it can’t be any different than killing dandelions and I’ve murdered my fair share of those… Sorry, I guess I still ramble when I’m nervous.”

“You’ll have to work harder than that to offend me.” He chuckled, filling her heart with song. “Welcome to the team, Essie.”

16 comments:

  1. I did a double take when you said "recently dead". What. Wait...reread. Oo, this is going to be good! And it was! Brilliant writing. I'm glad you didn't change it (and I think if fits in alright with the prompt anyway!). Loved the piece. Would have easily read more. :]

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    1. Thanks! I'm so thrilled you enjoyed your stay. I'm sorry I made you reread but I suppose that means I surprised you yes? Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  2. Oooh, this was great fun! I smiled when I read about her sense of direction; I can only hope mine also improves when I die. The flipflops were so absurd, they made me laugh out load. Nicely done. :-)

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    1. Thanks! I'm happy I made you laugh. This was a fun scene to write, so I'm glad you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  3. Bah! This was fantastic. I enjoyed all of the little well thought of details, like the missing flak-flak of his flip-flops. And the crystalline floor.

    The opening was also a big draw here. Color me impressed.

    I am off to follow you on twitter.

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    1. Thanks! I don't tweet much 'cause I'm still getting used to the whole 21st century social media scene. :) But I'm always happy to have a friend along.

      I'm glad you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! And for the follow!

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  4. I always look forward to reading your scenes and prompt responses. It's never a disappointment! You very much earned your freezer prize this week- BEST. FAIL. EVER.

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    1. Thanks! Yea! I get ICE CREAM! Haha!

      I'm glad you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  5. This is a neat little piece. Reminded me of movie scenes like the Waiting Room in Beetlejuice and the lawyer in "Defending Your Life." The flip flops were a nice touch. Of course, I wanted to know more about the gardens in heaven - particularly the roses. But that's just me.

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    1. Thanks! And no it's not just you. I'd like to see the roses of heaven. I'll bet they come in shades of Michelangelo and they never fade. Wouldn't that be something?

      I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  6. Well, for a FAIL (smile), excellent job. I would say this "doesn't go as planned", perhaps not for Essie or the Reaper but for the reader. There's something beautifully irreverent about the flip flops and her mention of her roses.

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    1. Thanks! The flip-flops seemed so perfect, I don't think it would have worked without them. I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  7. Ha! Fantastic. And I'd venture to say, a bit unexpected. He's not exactly the Reaper she envisioned, is he?

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    1. Thanks! The best thing about creative writing is taking a visual that everyone is familiar with and then turning that visual upside down, the "what if" is just too much fun to ignore. I'm thrilled you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  8. wow. very creative!! i think im still in shock! i can't wait to read more from you :)

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    1. Thanks! I'm thrilled you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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