Friday, August 17, 2012

Write On Edge: Terminal Challenge

Red Writing Hood gives us 450 words this week, but the setting is mandatory. The scene, fiction or non, must take place in an airport terminal.


My father worked at LAX for a majority of his life. I grew up fascinated with airplanes. The smell of airports is very unique and always brings a smile to my face. I can't help it. I'm five years old again staring out the gigantic window at the planes in varied stages of coming and going on the tarmac. And before 9/11 shaped the airplane passenger world, I used to go to the airport just to people watch. I'd make up stories about where they were going or where they were coming from. Well, I still like to watch the people, but I actually have to buy a ticket now. Expensive if all I want to do is people watch. 
 
I remember an incident a friend of mine witnessed over a decade ago at an airport in France. Those dear readers who are familiar with LAX may know of the many announcements that reverberate over the speaker system, especially repeating "Do not leave bags unattended." The French do not mess around with abandoned luggage. They clear the area and then detonate the article, whatever it is. The incident in question turned out to be a suitcase of women's unmentionables and battery operated gizmos. I am told that at least until my friend's plane took off, no one stepped forward to claim the items.

I've cheated a bit. I went steampunk.

Or, I hinted at it. I found this prompt to be difficult to write this week. I'm at the in-laws painting walls and cleaning carpets and my brain is officially toast.

So, for this challenge, instead of airplanes, think dirigibles. Instead of standard steward, I mean, flight attendant uniforms, think Victorian era ascots and bustles.


I offer the following in response:  Forgotten Luggage at Gate Seven




Deirdre Colcannon adjusted her Kevlar suit, cursing its weight. “You’d think with all the advanced technology, they’d make these things more comfortable.”

“What did you say, Ma’am?” her subordinate looked up from his gear.

“Nothing, Brighton.” She glanced through their observation window. Travelers vacated the gate in an orderly fashion, following the yellow stripe on the tiled floor. Once upon a time, people would have panicked, trampling others in their need to escape. Now, after the mandatory bomb drills, passengers reacted more smoothly.

“Ready Ma’am?” Brighton asked from the door, gear in hand.

“Let’s set it off.” Deirdre picked up her pack and followed him out into the terminal. A hostess from launch gate seven waited for them at the blast door. She wore the standard issue green and black pinstripe uniform of Transatlantic Airstream.

“Sally Halestrom,” she announced brightly, “I reported the abandoned trunk.”

“Pleasure. Transat usually launches from gate three, doesn’t it?” Deirdre asked, shaking hands with the hostess.

“It does, but with the recent acquisition of Riviera Dirigibles, Transat hostesses can now serve the Mediterranean.”

“Please Miss Halestrom, if you don’t mind, I believe we should close the blast shield and initiate procedure, yes?” Brighton was all business. Deirdre smirked at his obvious discomfort. He was not a sympathizer to the Suffragette cause, and a mere hostess left in charge of an evacuation he surely found irksome.

“Oh of course. The trunk in question is right over there.” She waived a white-gloved hand towards a cluster of crushed red velvet settees across from the tarmac window. “Will you actually incinerate the trunk?”

Deirdre smiled, “Yes, Miss Halestrom. It is the standard security measure.”

Excitement reflected in Sally's eyes, “May I stay and watch? I promise to keep out of the way.”

“No, Miss Halestrom. By law, the only personnel allowed in the blast zone are licensed pyrotechs.” Brighton showed teeth in his practiced smile. “Please see to the blast shield.”

Deirdre and her subordinate walked to the abandoned trunk, listening for the blast doors to close. With gate seven’s waiting area safely cleaved in half, Deirdre acted quickly, pulling the bomb cloth from her pack while Brighton wired the charges together. They worked in silence, easing the cloth into place and securing the mild explosive to the trunk. Everything ready, they stepped a few feet away and Brighton handed her the go-switch. “On your mark, Ma’am.”

Poor Brighton, it must really frost his marbles that I am his superior. "Mark." Deirdre flipped the switch. The cloth merely rippled upon the explosion. “Anticlimactic is a good sign, Brighton. Job very well done.”

He cleared his throat. “Thank you, Ma’am.”

22 comments:

  1. "frost his marbles" I love that.

    This is creatively done. I can just imagine the bomb squad just casually traipsing around the airport.

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    1. Thanks! I've always been intrigued with the "what if" scenarios of alternate histories. I'm thrilled you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  2. I did a double take when I reached the word "Dirigibles" then I remembered that you said you went steampunk with this!

    A little concrit: Reading through once, I don't get much of a steampunk feel. But that's hard to do in 450 words. Then again, reading it through with "steampunk" already etched in my mind, it read very well!

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    1. Thanks! My editing skills aren't that successful this week, way too much going on, but I did cut nearly 500 words from this scene. Thanks for giving it a second pass through, I'm glad it worked out. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  3. I really liked this moment: "Deirdre smirked at his obvious discomfort. He was not a sympathizer to the Suffragette cause, and a mere hostess left in charge of an evacuation he surely found irksome."

    It hints at a whole world I'd love to know more about!

    Great male/female interaction!

    :)

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    1. Thanks! I think there's a story that could come of this. I'm attached to the name Deirdre Colcannon. Well see...

      I'm thrilled you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  4. I really hope to never live in a world where bomb squads are just routine, but this was very evocative. I liked the added tension of "women in charge"--it added an anything-can-happen vibe to the mix.

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    1. Thanks! I'm with you. As bad as things might be here in America, I'm glad I don't have to deal with this sort of intrusion daily. I'm thrilled you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  5. I agree there isn't too much actual steampunk but the little bits you snuck in help set the tone. If you hadn't mentioned it I would have just assumed it was odd having dirigibles :)

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    1. Thanks! Yeah, probably just an alternate history...If the story gets fleshed out somewhere else. I just happened to be surfing the steampunk sites before writing this. :)

      I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  6. I thought that you did a great job of creating an whole new world in such a short piece, I agree that steampunk isn't really the feel that I got, more like parallel universe, and I'm a big fan of that. The one question I did have was if the Suffragette cause is still open for debate would Deirdre be able to be his boss, or is there something exceptional about her, other than the obvious that she's a rocking woman with nerves of steel.

    I loved that the boom was more of a fizzle, it fit right into the everyday feel that this piece had for this world. Nicely done.

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    1. Thanks! I was shooting for newly acquired women's rights that not everyone is quite on board with. But Deirdre is a rocking woman with nerves of steel. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  7. I agree with Barbara. I liked those lines and that particular situation as well.

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed your stay. As always, thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  8. Love the woman in charge scenario and "frost his marbles" got a LOL. I enjoyed reading this because of it's unique take. The line I liked the very best, however, was in the set up.."Expensive if all I want to do is people watch."

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    1. Thanks! I love surprises in stories I read, especially subtle ones that make me think. I try to bring that surprise to my own writing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

      I'm thrilled you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  9. Oo, I like steampunk! And I love the way you wove the characters. :)

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    1. Thanks! I'm new to the steampunk world, but I'm ever so intrigued with the concept. It's hard to achieve such a complicated setting with a small world limit, so I thought it best to focus on the brief interaction of the characters than to bog down in detail of the surroundings. I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  10. Frost his marbles really caught my eye as it did for many of the others.

    Since I am a native Angeleno I found myself picturing LAX while this all took place, not sure why, but the Bradley terminal came to mind.

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    1. Thanks! Maybe you thought of Bradley because I spoke of LAX in my opening statement? You were a victim of subliminal messaging. I thought of Bradley myself, since it's the terminal I'm most familiar with. :)

      I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  11. So glad I kept my browser tabs open from last week. I knew I'd get to them!

    Steampunk bomb squads. Swoon! I could picture it all, right down to the Transat Hostess uniform!

    Squee.

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    1. Thanks! I gotta squee? Awesome! That's so the best comment ever! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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