Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Flatwater Departure (WoE #10 Dr. Seuss Challenge)

Write at the Merge gave us a Lorax quote:
“I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. I speak for the trees for the trees have no tongues.”
Dr. Seuss, from The Lorax
 and another from Yertle the Turtle:
"Oh marvelous me. I am the King of all that I see!"
 also of Dr. Seuss fame, in honor of his birthday: March 2.

Dr. Seuss, or Theodore Seuss Geisel published 46 children's books, but had no children of his own. When asked about that, he was quoted having said "you have them, I'll entertain them." He certainly had a genius's ability to convert current events into anapestic, amphibrachic, and trochaic tetrameter poems, colored heavily with his own moral code. I can't say that I agree with all of his political stances or that I condone his outspoken personal prejudices, but I can say that I am still a fan, looking for the arms race in the Butter Wars and fascist dictators in Yertle the Turtle. Who says adults can't enjoy the subversive text while kids enjoy the silliness of his invented worlds? I dare anyone to find an author who is more dedicated to his craft than Theodore Seuss (pronounced Zoice not Sewce) Geisel was to his.

As for the prompt, I took so long to post my response because I couldn't settle on one story. I have an installment plotted for every one of my characters you've met on my blog, and a few for characters you haven't met here. It's been a while since I was that inspired, when I had a thousand pictures in my mind to write about. I've written close to 5k in words in the last two days, advancing several plot lines in slim margins.

But per the rules, like in the "Highlander", there can be only one.

I've decided that the most complete storyline is the one to post. The winner brings us back to Patience Bannon and her quest to rescue her baby sister. Jeb and she are just about to leave from their overnight stay in Flatwater Bend.

I offer the following in response: Flatwater Departure




“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Gilroy,” Patience smiled.

Forrest Gilroy kissed her hand, manners that the savage west seemed to have abandoned. He was a bright rose among thorns, with his silk waistcoat and silver buttons shining in the early morning light, and a welcome sight for Patience. His voice carried the distant memory of her Boston as his once-common east-coast accent tickled her ears. She drank his words, giddy. “The pleasure is mine, Miss Bannon.”

Jeb sauntered from the mercantile, the shop-keep’s boy in tow loaded down with their purchased supplies. Patience felt him bristle across the dusty space. “Let’s git a-goin’, Girl,” he interrupted, irritation saturating his tone.

She sighed, broken-hearted. She wanted to ask her new acquaintance about the coast, to reminisce with gentile aristocracy again. Did he ever skate on Jamaica Pond in the winter? Had he ever dined with the Bacons or the Amorys? The settlers here were hardened, base people, with little by way of pleasantries or civilized associations. “My guide is eager to press on. I must beg my leave.”

“Safe travels, Miss Bannon,” his words trailed behind her.

The shop-keep’s boy provisioned their wagon, and departed the livery without speaking while Jeb cinched the tack buckles for his horse. “I should have liked to speak a while longer with Mr. Gilroy,” Patience mused aloud as she climbed onto the driver’s bench. “He might have news from the east.”

Jeb snorted, tethering his horse to the wagon. “I highly doubt that, Girl.”

Of course Mr. Grayson wouldn’t have anything polite to say. “Oh, and what would you know of Mr. Gilroy?”

“I’ve little use for dandies,” he retorted, settling in beside her and taking the reins. With tongue clicks and a snap of the leather, the wagon jolted forward. “Gilroy ain’t got no need bein’ out here. He don’t have the sense God gave a turtle and he flashes his coin like it’s worth somethin’.”

“He comes from civilized society. I would not expect you to understand.”

He shot her a dark look that sent a chill through her spine. “Now I suppose you’re right, Girl. What would I know? I’m justa savage as like to piss on the floor than use a pot.”

Shamed, Patience tried to take her comment back, “I didn’t mean-“

“Didn’t you? You’ve been turnin’ your nose up at everyone since you moved to Brasher, like you’re a queen or somethin'. That attitude might work in Boston, but out here it’s only gonna git you dead.” He spit, then his tone softened. “Hell, you’ll probably git us both dead.”

The wagon jostled them over the rocky path. “What do you know of Mr. Gilroy?” she whispered.

“He uses cocaine and cuts up whores that refuse him service.”

She felt ill. “I wouldn’t have known.”

“The Pottawattamies say listen to the trees before you test the bark,” He adjusted the reins. “In other words, don't be fooled by a devil in a fancy suit.”

18 comments:

  1. Well, I'm quite glad she learned of Mr. Gilroy's predilections secondhand and not from personal experience. I have a feeling it's not the last surprise she's going to experience.

    I like the way you crafted this, with her inner thought process so detailed and then contrasted with Jeb's simple, straight-forward speech.

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    1. Thanks! Patience is a wonderful character to explore because there will be so many opportunities for her to grow. She's going to experience a ton of hardships on her journey and she's just getting started. And Jeb's easy to work with because he's a straight shooter, he'll call it how he sees it, which helps me vent some pent up snarkiness. ;)

      I'm pleased you enjoyed your visit. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  2. This is great: The Pottawattamies say listen to the trees before you test the bark,” He adjusted the reins. “In other words, don't be fooled by a devil in a fancy suit.”
    is it a real saying or yours? either way it's brilliant.

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    1. Thanks! I made it up, (literary liberties) but it's not far from a truth. I met a Native American woodworker, I can't remember his tribe, but he "spoke" to the trees before harvesting for his projects. That one will make a good canoe, this one won't. He said he listened to the soul of the tree to discover what it wanted to be.

      The Lorax quote melded with that experience and voila! Instant wivestale. As a Cherokee, exposed to the creation and morality myths of my tribe, I wanted something that could pay homage to Native wisdom without sounding cliche or insulting. I hope it was successful.

      I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  3. The Lorax gave me the heebie jebbies when I was a little kid! Then again, so did the Cat in the Hat... I must have been traumatized or something.

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    1. Thanks! No, actually after reading about all the subversive messages in Seuss's stories, I think it's a normal reaction. He chose extremely unpopular or complicated political situations and turned them into allegorical poetry. I didn't appreciate his talent until I was an adult because I picked up on that stuff when I was a kid. These are often uncomfortable topics for adults, let alone children. And honestly, a character that looks like a walking mustache? SCARY!

      I hope you enjoyed your visit. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  4. Interesting insight into Dr Seuss. This was a great story.
    Katie atBankerchick Scratchings

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    1. Thanks! Seuss was a man of convictions. Gotta respect a man that stands on his principles.

      I hope you enjoyed your visit. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  5. "She drank his words, giddy." That is a terrific line. Such imagery! And poor Patience has a lot to learn about men, doesn't she?

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    1. Thanks! Patience reminds me of, well, me as a teen: naive and eager for words. And I did need to learn a lot about men. :)

      I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  6. I can relate to Patience here and her eagerness to know more about a man who reminds her of the place she's had to leave behind. I think you captured that feeling well, along with the little details about Boston. It really gives your writing an authentic feel! I have to admit I was falling for Mr. Gilroy too-and the truth jarred me as much as I imagine that rocky path was jostleing the wagon. Very well done!!

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad I was able to provide an authentic flare for her Boston. Between Patience and my colonial rebel Thaddeus, I feel like I've walked the historic streets of the city and I hope I've done the city proud!

      I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  7. I just love it. Love the interplay, the flirting, the foolishness she feels once she learns his true intentions.

    Patience is such a snob!

    You always offer fabulous scenes. Another winner

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    1. Thanks! Patience is a snob! Not to mention extremely self-absorbed...in the way that most teenagers are I think. I love torturing her. (insert evil laugh here)

      I'm pleased you loved your visit. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  8. You do such a great job with Jeb's dialog every time out; guy clearly isn't stupid! I'm so enjoying this story.

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad his intelligence comes through, regardless of his accent. While he might not have a fancy education, he graduated from the school of hard knocks, which carries more weight in the west than a paper degree does.

      I'm happy you enjoyed your visit. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  9. LOVE. love, love, love. Excellent characterization of your two main characters! I would love to read more.

    www(dot)barbaragildea(dot)com/the-weight/

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad their development is advancing nicely. If you haven't already, you can find the beginning of their journey under the tab labeled "Patience".

      I'm thrilled you loved your visit. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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