There is a line from the movie The Teahouse of the August Moon that I have been focusing on for the last few days.
Pain makes man think. Thought makes man wise. Wisdom makes life endurable.
2011 proved to be a challenging year. While I had several celebratory moments, I struggled to keep positive during some potentially crippling, life-changing events, the pinnacle of which was the reduction-in-force that descended upon my place of employment. The end of the year closed with the end of my job.
I found an amazing display of good wishes from those I worked with. Words of encouragement and support flooded my inbox during the last months of my employ, and without those words it might have been easier to walk away.
It wasn't easy. I put on a brave face and I walked out of the building for the last time with my head held high, a feat I am infinitely proud of. I learned my work ethic from my father and his philosophy has carried me through each employment setback. From a time that seems an eternity away now he instructed me to apply personal initiative and discretionary effort in every aspect of my job. "It will show without showmanship and it will prove effortlessly your value as an employee, and that is the reputation you want to echo in the corporate arena."
Thank you, Dad. If I haven't told you lately, you are my hero.
The reduction-in-force was a business decision. I don't agree with it, but as a company girl, I can't really argue with the reasoning behind it. Does it suck? Yes, it sucks big, monster, sour pickled eggs. The experience, however, of working in a critical function for a global company, was a remarkable one, and I leave a better person.
So, if pain makes man think, and thought makes man wise. I will endure..
The best part of the new year is that it's new. I have a clean slate. I have a million options, I have the world at my fingertips. And I have a new laptop. It still has the new laptop smell.
So, as many other people this year, I'm making a promise to myself. 2012 is going to be my year. Barring any unforeseen challenges, I intend to be a better person, a better writer, a better sister, and a better daughter. I promise to be a better wife, a better student, a better gamer, a better knitter, and a better employee. I resolve to take life as I find it, cherish moments I have found, and eagerly seek the adventures to come. I plan to ebb and flow with the tide, smile even when I don't want to, and ignore the insecure voice that haunts my self-esteem. I will stand against the wind, break through the walls I meticulously engineered, and above all else, I will be true to myself.
I will turn pain into thoughts, thoughts into wisdom, and wisdom into life.