Friday, May 25, 2012

Write On Edge: Location, Location Challenge

This week Red Writing Hood gave us 250 words to focus on setting to deepen the reader's connection to our stories. We had the choice of using the setting to help develop your characters, your plot, or simply the mood of your story.

I struggled with writer's cramp/block/laziness this week, so I'm surprised I got this far and I'm still able to participate. This is what happens when one forgets that Friday follows after Thursday and one still thinks it's Wednesday.


I offer the following in response: Roots of the Wild Pecan


 
The Louisiana air gripped the land as if afraid to let go. Dixie and her brother paid the humid weather little notice, delighting instead in butterfly races and the kaleidoscope of leafy shadows the sun traced into the grass. They frolicked together, ignoring working bees, until Buddy bit her leg. She let him alone then, able as she was to get into trouble of her own accord.

Dixie romped solo through the trees until a destructive need took root. Soon, she stood at the edge of her newly-made hole, the mound of displaced dirt and grasses a mountain behind her heels. The wild pecan tree provided both shade and a wealth of rock-shaped fungi in its roots. She bounced happily at the discovery of the truffles, delighting in the pungent, earthy musk that coated the inside of her nose.

Nearby, birds disturbed the undergrowth and startled her to stillness. Her ears strained at the cacophony, listening until the purpose of her dig faded from her memory. Confusion settled into her bones. It was her hole, a recent hole, but she brought no treasure to bury. Sitting on her mountain, she whimpered and looked to Buddy for explanation.

A distant whistle trilled. “Dix! Bud! Come on!”

Dixie barked and careful to keep her head up high so her ears wouldn’t trip her awkward puppy feet, she raced Buddy for their person. A treat and a scratch behind the ears would be waiting for both of them.


26 comments:

  1. Sigh. As somebody who loves her dog, I naturally found much to love in this piece.

    That first line? My favorite. Such lovely personification.

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    1. Thanks! It was a challenge for me actually. I don't remember ever writing from an animal's perspective. I'm glad you stopped by. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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  2. Love how the opening paragraph perfectly sets the scene.

    "She let him alone then, able as she was to get into trouble of her own accord." - This sentence felt forced and awkward, unlike so much of the rest of the piece.

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    1. Thanks!

      It was a line I played with. I wanted something with a different flare, but not with a different voice. I'll give it a revisit.

      Thanks for stopping by and providing feedback!

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  3. "Startled her to stillness" really stood out to me. The description is so rich throughout. Beautifully done!

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    1. Thanks!

      All the bird dogs I've ever known exhibited that behavior and it's the only way I could think of to truly describe it.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  4. This brought back some memories of our Lab Sandy, who was always looking for some mischief to get her nose into. I could almost smell the freshly dug earth. Perfect!

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    1. Thanks! I had a Lab Sadie. She was thoroughly disappointed she wasn't a lap dog and chewed the threshold off of the back door practically overnight.

      Puppies do the darndest things.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  5. Oh, to be a dog with truffles to smell. Can you imagine? How amazing they are to the human nose? Only loads more intense?

    I love the description of the hole in the roots of the pecan tree.

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    1. Thanks! This was a fun write so I'm thrilled you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for the love!

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  6. Puppies at play, what is not to like? I love how their excitement comes through. I could almost see them running around.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! Each time we hit the mall, I drag my hubby to the pet store to "go play with the puppies". I could watch them for hours. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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  7. Beautifully done! I can't say that I've ever written from the perspective of an animal before, and you did it so seamlessly. I really enjoyed the attention to details of the tree.

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    1. Thanks! It was a first for me (at least as far as I can remember) so I'm thrilled I was able to carry it off. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  8. I LOVE this story. I can picture it perfectly having two chocolate frolicking Labs myself.

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    1. Thanks! Labs are by far my faves, but as puppies go I think hands down the cutest thing I ever saw was a basset hound trying to outrun his dumbo ears with his already adult-sized paws. He couldn't get three strides without standing on top of his ears and pinning himself to the ground.

      Thanks for stopping by and for the love!

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  9. I thought they were two kids until I read the last paragraph. :)

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    1. Gotchya! Sorry, just teasing. I was intentionally vague about it mostly so I'd push myself to see the scene through Dixie's eyes instead of producing "just a dog" story.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  10. That was cute. I also thought they were kids at first. That first line was amazing too.

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed your stay. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

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  11. Dittos to the above...I loved realizing they were dogs 3/4 of the way through. Although the dug hole should have told me much earlier. I was wondering why there was no reference to digging tool. :)

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    1. Thanks!

      I'm thrilled you enjoyed your visit. Thanks for the love!

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  12. Wonderful! You really capture the animal POV so well. Loved this!

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    1. Thanks for the love! It was my first "animal" perspective so I'm thrilled it turned out as well as it did. Thanks for stopping by and I'm happy you enjoyed your stay!

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  13. I absolutely love the twist of writing this from an animal's persepective. I had to re-read the first paragraph before I caught that. My suggestion for this sentence "She let him alone then, able as she was to get into trouble of her own accord." would be maybe to break it up into 2 sentences - something like "She let him alone then. She was capable of getting into trouble all on her own." Not sure what that'd do to the word count but would smooth out that part some... Just a thought. I must say again, though, I loved this piece!

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    1. Thanks for the love! I had fun with it myself. That line is certainly a kicker, it says what I need it to say but I can't seem to get the voice right on it. Oh well.

      Thanks as always for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts!

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